homesick but not for home

2006-06-21T18:12:00.000-07:00

06.12.06 - las isletas

back home in my bed, trying to sleep to the sounds of police cars firing warning sirens to send street loiterers walking. and it just feels ugly to be back.

tears came to my eyes as the plane touched down at SFO because that was when i finally realized my trip to nicaragua was really over.

i had not let myself feel sadness in anticipation of an end while in nicaragua, because i was to live every moment in the moment. time was not to be wasted dwelling on the inevitable future.

now that i'm back, i've cried several times.

because i've been overwhelmed with a sense of life again. and i am frightened that being back home (this place i'm supposed to call home) will dull me down to grey again.

i'm reluctant to use the internet. i dread hearing my cellphone ring. i don't want to listen to the radio. or watch tv.

because for 10 days, i ran away from stress and other forms of bullshit that beat me to a senseless pulp. because before, i was a zombie. i was caught in an abusive relationship. to be forced to associate with constant negativity. with misdirected drives and unfocused priorities.

nicaragua's beauty doesn't just lie in the massive growth of nature sprouting at every corner. (the lakes, volcanoes, islands.) but in its people. nicaragua is the second poorest country in this hemisphere. (the first being haiti.) 70% of the people live in poverty. this is the third world. despite their daily struggles, nicaraguans are some of the friendliest, genuine, and unpretentious people i've met. there is a true sense of community. of pride. and not the obnoxious bullying kind. quiet pride. america is merely grotesque in comparison.

its beauty lies in tin roof shacks, laundry drying everywhere, ribcage thin cattle, stray dogs, unkempt dirt roads, power outages, exhaust spewing school buses, thick heat and humidity, giant moths, free range chickens, street vendors, deliciously simple food (gallo pinto!!!). my love is in simplicity.

i wrote oliver and chris an email tonight. to thank them for everything they've given me.

oliver, thanks:
for putting up with my complete indecisiveness when it came to committing to even going in the first place, for being a truly understanding friend and knowing how good a trip like this would be for me, for the overwhelming encouragement and support, for the emails and reassurance that i'd be fine, for making me laugh with your ever changing facial hair, for being french, for not snoring (loudly), moaning, or talking in your sleep, for playing madden all the goddamn time, for telling me i had to see jean marc's work, and for those last reflective conversations we had on my last couple of nights.

chris, thanks:
for being an amazing host and tour guide, for speaking spanish and being a translator for a bunch of rowdy gringos, for showing me how beautiful nicaragua can be, for driving the ford suv under all sorts of conditions, for your generosity, for having a great group of friends to kick it with, for always checking up on your guests, for making a traveler feel at home in a foreign country, for ron, for getting down on the dance floor, for ipod jams in the car, for your patience and good humor, and for introducing me to so many new and wonderful people.

and most of all, i want to thank both of you for showing me that this world does have decent people still. and that life doesn't have to be all stress and negativity.

remember that last night at cafe nuit? as the band played, i looked up at the starry sky from between the palm leaves and realized just how simple happiness was. i said to both of you, "i'm really happy right now." and i meant every word.

thank you for reminding me what happiness is.

rob

2006-06-18T19:14:00.000-07:00

06.18.06
after the hike, we rested for a bit near our car.
i snapped these of rob, hydrating himself.

the end.

la vida creció por todas partes

2006-06-18T19:13:00.000-07:00

06.18.06
after our catarina excursion, we drove up to volcán mombacho for a hike around the crater.
it was what i imagine hiking around a rainforest would be like.
it was extremely lush and moist. life was growing everywhere.
half-way through the hike, it began to rain.
who would have thought i'd ever be stuck in a rain storm on the side of a volcano in nicaragua?

before our hike, this guy from california (LA) came up to talk to us and snap our photos.

a view from mombacho of las isletas.

bird's eye view of granada. our house was at the foot of that cathedral.

very lord of the rings passage-way on mombacho.

chris took this photo of me.

mi día pasado en nicaragua

2006-06-18T19:10:00.000-07:00

06.18.06
on my last day, chris took us to catarina,
a small famous for it's gardens, nurseries
and small tourist park that overlooks laguna apoyo.

after doing some sight seeing and souvenir purchasing, chris took us on a journey to a couple nurseries.
we were looking for a cacao plant as ginger, the pastry chef/chocolate maker, had never seen one live.

ginger and the chocolate factory

the woman who owned the nursery gave her an unripe cacao pod.
later that night, when we got back, ginger broke the pod open.

jean marc calvet

2006-06-17T19:10:00.000-07:00

06.17.06
after swimming at laguna de apoyo, we drove back to granada to spend our final days where it all started.
i love granada and the house we stayed in. being back was a relief for me.
i felt like i was home again.

later that night, after eating ourselves sick at several restaurants in granada,
i had a chance to meet and see the studio of this genius of a painter,
jean marc calvet.

he's originally from france, but he lives and works in nicaragua.
as well as being a world famous artist (he has a show in NYC and LA this summer)
he owns el tercer ojo which has really good gazpacho.
it was the first place i ate at when i first arrived in nicaragua.

unfortunately, i didn't bring my camera into his studio, but it was amazing.
i'll always remember the colors of the paint brushes and paint he had scattered about.

he told us the stories behind two of this paintings ("the two brothers" and "twisted date")
and then he gave me and ginger a lollipop and said that the lollipop was to remind us
to always remember to look at the world through the eyes of a child.
because the innocence of children is so precious and often times, when we grow up
we become hardened and don't see the world for its simple beauty.

when he told us that, i almost wanted to cry.
i was truly touched because it felt like he was speaking directly to me,
because that's exactly what i think and how i think.

i feel so blessed to have met him and seen his work.

"look at me...look at you!"

"mi mundo gris"

"night flight"

"the two brothers"

when i got back to the states, i received an amazing email from him that truly brightened my day:

From: Jean Marc CALVET
Subject: French Painter from Granada
Date: June 18, 2006 6:35:31 PM PDT
To: Vivian

Hello Vivian ,
Very nice to meet you , I see you work and .............WHOUAAAAAAA !!!! I love ....trust me ....
It´s very good work . I need more time for look all the pictures ........ you have one more big fan !!!

I send you somes paintings and in a few days i send you the New York invitation ( Sorry for my english )

We´ll keep in touch .

I hope see you again .

Thank you.
Best wishes ,

Jean Marc

laguna de apoyo

2006-06-17T19:08:00.001-07:00

06.17.06
the drive down to laguna de apoyo was breath-taking
and the laguna itself was very soothing.

but like i said, i wasn't in a photo mood.

rob and the lake

rob swimming

the things that came from the laguna: tyson, chris and oliver

ningunas fotos

2006-06-17T19:08:00.000-07:00

06.17.06
rob was feeling a lot better this day, so we all headed out to laguna de apoyo.

it was one of those days where i actually didn't want to take that many photos.
sometimes you just need to keep some places/moments to yourself,
to preserve in your own memories.

because sometimes, the beauty of the moment just can't be captured on film.

here are some that i took on the way.

rob and his pedialyte to keep him hydrated after food poisoning.

amo puestas del sol nicaraguan

2006-06-16T19:07:00.000-07:00

06.16.06
who needs television when you have nature putting on a show for free?

when it got a bit darker, there was a lightening storm right between the yellow and red clouds.

tyson calls these "bible scripture sunsets."

cervezas y la playa

2006-06-16T19:06:00.000-07:00

06.16.06
after our "hike," ginger, tyson, oliver and i went to town to hang out.
we did the internet cafe thing (oliver's other addiction) and some souvenir shopping.

and then we decided to drink some beers on the beach and watch the sunset.

what more could you ask for?

hasta la torre

2006-06-16T19:04:00.000-07:00

06.16.06
after our delicious brunch, we decided to take a hike up to this radio tower over looking san juan del sur.
chris told us to suit up and bring lots of water
because he wasn't sure how far he could drive the car up the hill to the tower.

after preparing ourselves for a hike in the heat, we ended up driving all the way up.
oliver remarked: "gee, chris, i'm glad you told us to wear long pants, the a/c was pretty cold in the car."

there were a couple maintenance people living up there next to the tower.

ginger está en la cocina

2006-06-16T19:03:00.000-07:00

06.16.06
ginger is an amazing cook!!!
she whipped up in less than an hour:
guacamole, mango salsa, fresh fried tortilla chips, rice and beans, potatoes with caramelized onions
and for dessert... banana pudding with mangos and pineapple chunks.

iron chef nicaragua.

DROOL.

unforunately, rob couldn't join us because he was sick as a dog in bed with food poisoning.
but we saved him a plate for when he got better.

oliver needs his caffeine fix.

btw, ginger has her own chocolate company: couture chocolates. check it out.

fuimos al mercado

2006-06-16T18:59:00.000-07:00

06.16.06
we woke up that morning and decided that ginger
being the fabulous pastry chef with actual cooking school experience
would cook us brunch.

so we headed to the market and purchased several items for our meal.

food in nicaragua is incredibly cheap. a pineapple and some bananas was 6 cordobas (~$0.37 US!!).
when you live in a poor country, food has to be affordable or else no one could live there.

el cielo es "chocho"

2006-06-15T18:58:00.000-07:00

06.15.06
the sunsets in nicaragua cannot be captured on film.
there is no lens wide enough to truly convey the humbling experience
of looking upward to this.

and just when i thought i snapped the perfect picture,
the sky would change again, so subtly. richer, clearer, louder.

these were taken a minute apart.

las cosas encontraron en la arena

2006-06-15T18:57:00.000-07:00

06.15.06
we did stop at the small beach in ostional. we hung out there for just a bit.
the boys played football while ginger and i explored the beach.

when crabs burrow in their underground holes,
they fling up sand, making beautiful patterns.

blowfish skeleton

vacas

2006-06-15T18:56:00.000-07:00

06.15.06
the suv ford that chris rented rocked our socks. if you are going to get a 4-wheel drive suv,
please live where you can actually use it for its original purpose.
the roads were not well maintained and on the way to ostional,
there were several parts of the road that were flooded.

but the ford (which i grew to have faith in) barreled through the water with ease.
even navigating through a herd of cattle.

cow ass. what!

el ostional

2006-06-15T18:55:00.001-07:00

06.15.06
after brunch, we headed out to a town at the southern most part of nicaragua,
right before costa rica called el ostional.

on the way we past, la flor wildlife refuge, but we skipped it
because our spoiled/cheap asses didn't want to pay 200 cordoba (~$12 US) to possibly not see a turtle.
(it wasn't turtle season!)

ostional was a very small town and there wasn't much to see.
well, besides a tiny monkey on a leash.
which my camera never captured. but that's okay, because some memories are funnier that way.

tony

2006-06-15T18:55:00.000-07:00

06.15.06
this is tony. he was outside the restaurant.
rob and tyson had partied with him earlier on their trip.
he makes jewelry by hand and sells it. (i bought two pairs of earrings from him!)
he's such a sweet guy.
i love how easy it is to make friends in nicaragua.
and it doesn't matter if they can't remember your name the next time they see you,
because the kind sentiment remains the same.

i only wished my high school spanish skills weren't so poor.
so i could have talked to and gotten to know him and everyone else we met.
but i'm remedying that. i started with a spanish tutor today.
languages aren't my strong suit. but if i practice my spanish and strengthen my mandarin,
i'll be able to speak to about 80% of the world.

san juan del sur

2006-06-15T18:54:00.000-07:00

06.15.06
after saying good-bye to jon,
we headed toward downtown san juan del sur for brunch.
we found a beach side cafe which was paying the world cup on a projector and
we ate some ceviche which may or may not have caused rob food poisoning the next day.
while waiting for our food to be served, i wandered down on the beach.

animales en la playa

2006-06-14T18:53:00.000-07:00

06.14.06
nicaragua is full of life. this ain't no pigeons and squirrel kind of place.
here are some critters i encountered at majagual.

i pinch!

i love nicaraguan beach cats.

howler monkeys! very elusive but very loud.

bahía

2006-06-14T18:52:00.000-07:00

06.14.06
rob and tyson decided to work at the development this day,
so it was just chris, oliver, jon, ginger and i for a beach trip to bahía majagual,
a small cove to the north of the main san juan bay.

san juan del sur is known for surfing. but we didn't do any of that at majagual.
this is also known as the beach jon almost died at on his second day of his trip.
but he saved himself so it's all good. yay for jon!
we returned there on his last day. and he proved the beach wrong again by surviving.
but he still never could catch a wave on the boogie board.

chris, oliver & jon & the football.

ginger

chris's lil bro, michael (aka the ladies man)

fútbol americano

2006-06-14T18:51:00.000-07:00

06.14.06
this is what i woke up to.
it was weird being there because it felt too developed.
air conditioning, running water, sheets and blankets on the bed.
too resort-y. too much like home.

the boys played football (or a form of it... ahem, oliver & MADDEN on PSP) all the damn time.

amabilidad

2006-06-13T18:50:00.000-07:00

06.13.06
a little while after the marching band came down the street,
i looked out the window to find the security guard from across the street
washing our car. without being asked to. without expecting money.
just like that.

who does that nowadays?
but chris said he only washed the suv because he probably couldn't stand just how dirty it was.
and it was pretty dirty since we'd been four-wheeling it on dirt roads for the past several days.

anyways, we packed up our suv and headed out to san juan del sur,
where chris works as a designer/architect at this new development called
villas del palermo.

there's the nice security guard.

i would take more pictures of this place, but the website shows it all.

el viajar otra vez

2006-06-13T18:49:00.000-07:00

06.13.06
after we said our good-byes to nicolette, chris took her to managua airport.
while he was gone, we hung out around granada.
i took a nice afternoon nap with the breeze blowing in the window and birds chirping.
once chris returned, we packed up the suv and headed south to the beach town of san juan del sur.

these are some photographs of granada and other places captured along the way.

the movie theatre was playing hostal this week and then el código del davinci the next.

buenos días granada

2006-06-13T18:47:00.000-07:00

06.13.06
after a night of drinking and celebrating nicolette's last night,
we all awoke early in the morning to the sounds of music and celebration.
right outside the granada house was a parade of local school students
celebrating something... religious. i wish i knew what it was they were celebrating
but regardless, i felt truly blessed to witness such a culturally personal and joyous occasion.
watching the children play their instruments and dance in synch
practically brought tears to my eyes. it was beautiful in a very simple way.
if only these photographs could capture sound.

el ir al mercado

2006-06-12T18:47:00.000-07:00

06.12.06
when we got back to town,
nicolette, ginger, jon and i went to the supermarket
to pick up some snacks and, of course, more ron. (7 year.)

subimos árboles

2006-06-12T18:46:00.000-07:00

06.12.06
after milling around the lake for a bit we saw that rob had made himself a nice little nest in a tree.
so we all eventually followed suit and spent the afternoon lying around in that tree.
don't you dare tell me that was a waste of time.

ginger needs a boost.

after jon monkey'ed his way across the branch.
we are very proud of you.

tyson and chris missing out on the fun.

everyone's doing it.

chris needs some help.

oliver took this. look, i'm in a tree in nicaragua.

ocho amigos

2006-06-12T18:45:00.000-07:00

06.12.06
ginger, oliver's roommate from sacramento, showed up the night before
meaning we had 8 people in our group.
imagine trying to squish 8 people into a 7 seater SUV.
oh, and then add another space for the boat guide whom we picked up from town.

but we always made it work.

L-R: oliver and his french mustache (is it sexy or SEXY?), jon & ginger

we stopped at an old fort on the lake. eh.
L-R: oliver, ginger, tyson, and captain rob.

chris shooting me. (for once)

chris and rob hanging out with the guide at the restaurant

jon the pirate always makes sure to drink his juice to avoid scurvy.

oliver and rob think deep thoughts.

ginger takes a nap.

as does tyson.

oliver's legs don't look so white here.

back on the mainland, we decided to hang out around the coast of the lake.
rickety swing sets are always fun.

giant holes are safe idea.

viaje del barco en el lago

2006-06-12T18:43:00.001-07:00

06.12.06
after the monkey island, the guide took us by a dead boat shipyard
and then to another island with a small restaurant,
where i had the best tostones y queso con salsa on the whole trip.

after stuffing our faces and resting, we headed back to the mainland.

the restaurant

the restaurant kitty
there are plenty of stray dogs in nicaragua, so seeing a cat is rarity.
(though i ended up seeing a lot more by the end of the trip.)

tyson takes a meeting with the lake

this is how clothes get clean in nicaragua.
(one thing we noticed was that while nicaragua is very dusty and hot,
everyone's clothes were always pristine and clean. the whites were very white.
nicaraguans take pride in the way they look.)

the constantly changing weather in nicaragua (sun, rain, sun, rain)
means that the skies are always breath-taking.

¡los monos!

2006-06-12T18:43:00.000-07:00

06.12.06
there's a little isle on the lake that's inhabited by monkeys.
the story goes that a scientist brought the monkeys to the isle to study them.
but then the scientist got sick and left, leaving the monkeys to fend for themselves.
since they don't swim nor are there many fruiting trees on that isle
the monkeys rely on humans for fruit hand outs.

we fed them mangos and this unidentifiable red fruit that tasted like pumpkin.

this little guy was the outcast of the bunch. pobre mono.

and rob likes mangos too.

las isletas

2006-06-12T18:42:00.000-07:00

06.12.06
granada is located west of lake nicaragua and north of volcán mombacho.
20,000 years ago, volcán mombacho blew its top and created 365 islands in the lake
which are now inhabited by locals and wealthy nicaraguans and foreigners.

we decided to do the touristy thing and hired a guide to take us on a tour of the lake and las isletas.

volcán mombacho

granada's cathedral in the distance. the granada house is at the foot of the cathedral.

blurry i know, but when you're shooting a guy with a gun like that, you don't linger too long.
they were guarding one of the little islands as there was a government party going on.

granada

2006-06-12T18:39:00.000-07:00

06.12.06
granada was a surprise to me.
i arrived in nicaragua thinking i would spend my days in san juan del sur.
but granada was where my trip began and granada is where i felt at home.

the city wasn't anything glorious, but it was just comfortable.
parque central, the small shops, delicious places to eat and friendly restaurant owners
are just a few of the things i remember fondly.

our daily routine was to wake up and go eat breakfast at kathy's waffle house.
where i'd order a dish for 50 cordobas or less (~$3 US)
which would consist of gallo pinto (YUM!), eggs, bacon and toast.
oh, and i'd get a fresh fruit smoothie. jamba juice has nothing on nicaraguan smoothies.

i never met sandy or kathy actually. nor did i eat any of her waffles.

el tercer ojo has amazing gazpacho
is owned by genius painter, jean marc calvet

on the way to kathy's

cathedral & san francisco museum of nicaragua (across the street from kathy's)

tyson having coffee at amistad cafe

ice cream man!

la casa de granada es casera

2006-06-12T18:38:00.000-07:00

06.09-12 and 17-19.06
how dare i forget to mention the house we stayed at while in granada.
the colonial style two story house had four huge bedrooms, at least four showers
and a beautiful courtyard in the center which was overlooked by the cathedral.

located right around the corner from parque central,
it made a great base for exploring the city.

after only a few days, this house felt like home to me.
even with the bats flying around at night,
(often leaving droppings on our beds)
and the cold low pressure showers,
and the lack of toilet paper.

i have so many good memories in this house.
i loved waking up to the sounds of granada in the morning.
parrots, street vendors, cathedral bells, horse carriages,
and the occasional marching band. (nicaraguans like to celebrate.)

there was always a cool breeze that blew through the windows,
and the balconies were perfect for people watching.

my favorite moments were spent in that house,
sitting around on wicker furniture. just talking.

these photos hardly do the house justice. at all. i wish i had taken more photos.

oliver looks out from the second floor

view of the cathedral and courtyard

second floor hallway

tyson standing in the first floor entryway

el niño con la camisa roja

2006-06-11T18:37:00.000-07:00

06.11.06
in true nicaraguan fashion,
the locals of el transito kindly offered us the use of their fresh water well shower
to rinse off the sand and beach before leaving.
all they wanted in return was soda.

these one of these guys climbed a palm tree with complete ease
and plucked a fruit for his son(?).
nicolette and i spent some time with the little boy before we left.

el primer asiática

2006-06-11T18:36:00.000-07:00

06.11.06
we left león in search of a beach said to be 20 minutes away.
two hours and a rough dirt road later, we ended up at the small fishing town of el transito,
where we spent some time attempting to swim in the rough surf of the black sand beach.

rob and tyson struck up a conversation with the locals
and found out that el transito is a fishing town
and the fishermen hadn't been out to sea in about 20 days since the waves were so rough.

also, rob and tyson was told me that the fisherman said
i was the first asian person they had ever seen in their town.
can you imagine? being the first of my kind to step foot in el transito?
i was making history? pretty humbling.

amigos que viajan

2006-06-11T18:35:00.000-07:00

06.11.06
how rude of me not to properly introduce my traveling companions.
these were the seven on the first leg of my trip.
i would like to thank them for putting up with having a personal paparazzi in their face 24/7.

león isn't as frequented by tourists,
so it was probably a surprise to see such a large group of gringos.

L-R: tyson, chris, rob, nicolette, & jon

L-R: jon, tyson, chris & oliver

chris

rob

tyson

nicolette

la cuidad

2006-06-11T18:33:00.000-07:00

06.11.06
after trying to find breakfast on a sunday in león,
we settled for a super market
and then spent the rest of the morning exploring.

cathedral of león

"bush genosida, enemigo de la humanidad, muerte al invasor imperial"
(bush genocide, enemy of humanity, death to the imperial invader)

rudio

2006-06-11T18:32:00.000-07:00

06.11.06
did i mention i couldn't sleep at all that night in león?
a combination of uncomfortable temperatures, jet lag
loud mumbling from a passed out chris, and ginseng pills from jon.
when i finally fell asleep in the early morning twilight,
i was suddenly awoken by what sounded like an air raid siren,
followed by a steady barrage of firecrackers,
and then a marching band.

later that morning, we wandered the streets and discovered the firecrackers were set
in remembrance of a historical attack on the town and cathedral.

these guys were lighting them right during mass.
it was so loud, you could hear the car alarms going off for blocks.

la casonda hotel

2006-06-10T18:31:00.000-07:00

06.10-11.06
once in león, we found ourselves a hostel
for only $4 (US) a person.
needless to say, this wasn't luxury living,
and my thin mattress lay upon a cardboard backing.
but the place had a little dog named "mia"
so we stayed.

later that night, we went out on the town
with a guy named henry, who we met at the hostel.
he was a student at a local university
and he showed us around to all the local león night spots.

after a night of hitting the ron,
somehow chris, nicolette, jon, henry and i ended up at a local casino
and jon won 100 cordobas ($6 US) playing slots!

morning after.
the view from my bed.

from our room to the courtyard.

mia!
i wasn't planning to sleep on the bed anymore
therefore, she was allowed to sit there.

mia and her owner, our host.

el camino al león

2006-06-10T18:23:00.000-07:00

06.10.06
navigating roads in nicaragua is quite a feat.
if the two lane roads are maintained at all,
you have to learn the right passing moves.
it's a game of chicken.
you versus brightly painted school buses.
and trucks full of crops and/or workers.
but thank goodness for chris and
the ford suv i grew to have faith in.

along the way to león, i snapped these photos.

saltamontes

2006-06-10T18:22:00.000-07:00

06.10.06
the next morning, we headed out to visit
a town in north of granada called león.
while packing up the car, this boy paid us a visit.
he made nicolette and i a grasshopper and a rose
out of sugar cane leaves.

escuela

2006-06-09T18:18:00.000-07:00

06.09.06
the building where the b-boys were practicing
is also used as a spanish language school.

hip hop is universal language

2006-06-09T18:16:00.000-07:00

06.09.06
the first place oliver and chris took me to in nicaragua
was to see some local b-boys practice
in this beautiful building next to el parque central in granada.